This piece of art serves as both a memorial and a reminder. A reminder of the struggles people face, and the struggles people can no longer take.

Holly, who was a young girl in grade 9 – only having recently turned 15 – lost her life to suicide in the year 2015. Had she still been alive today she would be turning 25.

This artwork is to mourn the life she lost, while also celebrating the life she lived.

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This work has multiple parts to it, each having their own unique place in her story.

Center

• Portrait – Right in the middle of everything there is a photo of Holly. She is the focus.
• Holly – Above Holly’s photo an actual holly is featured. This is of course a physical representation of her name, something that makes you think of her the moment you see it.
• Geometric Background – Shards inspired by stained glass. Every piece is different, a collection of key moments in time that come together to make a person who they are. This work explores some of the moments that made Holly, and some of the shards that broke her.

Top Left

• Barn – Holly enjoyed her time at the farm of a family friend. This corner represents that. A red barn, and some green grass that goes along with the outdoors.
• Brandy – A miniature horse Holly trained for Harness Racing. The reference for this was a photo of Brandy and Holly together. Holly loved her very dearly.
• January 31st 2000 – The day Holly was born. A day important to her and her family as the day she first entered this world.

Top Right

• Baseball – One of the sports she played. Holly was an active girl who played quite a few sports.
• Flag football – Another sport she was involved in. A safer form of the popular American football game. Tackling is not permitted and is replaced by stealing a flag off the player.
• Volleyball – The last sport featured on here and one that she excelled at. In grade 8 she was the captain of her team.
• Mars bar – A reference to Holly’s mother, Barb. During brakes Holly’s mom would give her mars bars to boost energy.

Bottom Right

• Hollyhocks – Another physical reference to Holly’s name, and also a flower that often serves as a reminder. Sometime after her death there was a beautiful burgundy hollyhock plant that grew but never came back. Maybe a bit of magic from beyond the grave?
• “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I would walk In my garden forever.” – The life Holly lived, while short, will never be forgotten. She is not just another number, a part of the statistics. She was a living, breathing human that impacted the life of many. A number does not even begin to explain the pain her death brought.
• YMCA – Holly had been attending the YMCA since she was 3, and was a leader in training at YMCA, Geneva park. The park now has a tree planted there in her memory.
• Fox – While doing her training, there was a fox. She said it came by often and was a fond memory.

Bottom Left

• Butterfly – Holly was very artistic and once drew a beautiful picture of a butterfly. It’s now a symbol closely related to her. I got the chance to see the drawing and despite not having colour, is absolutely beautiful.
• Fashion board – While not being too interested in sewing, Holly enjoyed drawing and designing clothes. She was looking into having a career in the world of fashion design.
• Halloween makeup/Bones – Staying true to being a fantastic artist, she also did halloween makeup. The bones represent the amazing skeleton makeup she did one year.

Underneath the corner sleeves

Center Underneath

• Starting to fall apart – as you take the sleeves off, and dig deeper, you can see the shards from the middle starting to separate and break away. As discussed earlier these shards represent the collection of key moments that make up a person. What happens when you start to lose them? When you start unraveling at the seams.

Top Left Underneath

• Shattered mirror – Holly struggled with her self esteem. In the mirror you can see a reflection of someone, but it looks different. The mirror is shattered. Gold is known to represent wealth, but it also represents courage and wisdom. You look in the shattered mirror but are unable to see the true beauty of your reflection. A shattered self image. Unable to see yourself the way others see you.
• February 4th 2015 – Date of death. Placed in the same spot as the date of birth as a parallel. Entering and exiting the world in only fifteen years.

Top Right Underneath

• No volleyball – Volleyball. Something Holly knew she was good at, and in grade 9  she didn’t make the team. When you’re struggling and are trying to find things to prove yourself with, you reach for the things you know you’re good at, but now it’s suddenly no longer true. You’re climbing a ladder and the rung you reach for breaks.

Bottom Right Underneath

• Storm in a bottle – Holly often bottled up her feelings, and refused to talk. A storm. Your head is a storm and you won’t let it out. You think that letting it out will only inconvenience others. This way, only you have to worry about the worsening storm. It’s your problem anyway, right? But now, the pressure keeps rising and eventually that bottle starts cracking. Now, what started as some light rain, is a full blown storm and it’s coming. Your bottle can’t contain it anymore and it’s breaking free. What do you do?

Bottom Left Underneath

• Friendship bracelets – Was used as a way to hide self harm by Holly. They look happy, right? They look innocent. No one would suspect anything. What, that something as innocent, happy, and popular, could ever hide something so dark. It’s crazy, right? But in reality, what’s better to hide a source of pain and shamefulness than something pretty? Cover the bad with the good. It’ll be fine.

Background Underneath 

• Black – The colour often associated with depression. It’s dark and you can’t see what’s in front of you. You can’t see the future to come.
• Spirals – Often used to represent a descent into darkness, or losing control. You feel helpless and out of control in your own life. Things keep getting worse and you can’t do anything about it.

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Comments from the artist

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My main goal with this project was to not only celebrate Holly’s life and mourn her death, but to show that she’s not just another number or statistic. I find that while looking into suicide awareness you see a lot of numbers, and after awhile you kind of just desensitize yourself to it. Once you’ve seen numbers in the hundreds and thousands, one doesn’t seem like a lot, it becomes easy to say “It’s just one.” I want to stop that. I want to show that it’s not just one, it’s one person that lost their life. I want people to hear Holly’s story and mourn her loss. I want to put it into perspective for people that a life is not explained by a number. Statistics do not show the pain these people went through, the pain their loved ones are still going through. Suicide has been stigmatized in a way that blames the victim, in a way that makes it criminal, when it’s not. Society doesn’t talk about the pain that brings someone to that point, that their life was ripped away from them as well. Only the result of it.

Artist: Katie Shaw